A Day in the Life of Fangirls!
by ShadowOfAPrincess
Summary: A group of fangirls stalk and film Naruto, Sasuke, Shikamaru, Itachi, Gaara, Rock Lee, Kakashi and Neji during the most random of times.
1. A Day in the Life of Naruto!

_A/N: I don't want to give away the characters in this story, so I will not list them! _

_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Nor do I own the series. _

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Chaptah 1:

A Day in the life of Naruto!

*****

Here we are, standing beside Naruto's bed as he peacefully sleeps. Notice how his long, beautiful lashes kiss his cheeks gently, his tan skin glowing--no, _shimmering_--in the pale moonlight. His lips are parted slightly and his manly chest rises and falls with each breath he takes.

The fangirls are overcome with rapture.

If you look to the left, you can see that the clock reads 5:10 a.m....almost time for our little man to wake up.

Naruto stirs a little and rolls over. We hear him mumble something barely coherent--somethin' about ramen, I think.

Let's just sit here and watch our baby sleep.

…

5:15 a.m. Okay, hon. Time to get up--huh?!

Naruto suddenly jumps up, startled. That darned alarm clock! We trip all over each other in a haste attempt to scramble into the closet. One of us--I think it was Fangirl #012--swore loudly after getting her hand stomped on.

Thankfully, Naruto is not fully awake.

Zoom in through the cracks in the closet door and we can see Naruto slowly crawl out of his bed and scratch his butt. Fangirl #012 gasps in awe and Naruto turns in the direction from where the sound was emitted. Darn you, Fangirl #012! Fangirl #981 punches her in the face and shuts her the heck up, fast.

We turn our attention back to Naruto and see him take off his shirt, baring his manly chest and abs. A few fangirls faint, blood spurting out of their noses. We look back at our sexy boy and--AW, DANG.

In our haste to make ourselves scarce, we forgot that Naruto has to get dressed.

So, of course, he's gonna need the freakin' closet.

WHICH WE ARE ALL CURRENTLY HIDING IN.

All we can do now is watch as he walks closer and closer, clearly taking his own sweet time to reach his destination.

While he was walking towards us with the speed of a snail going 000.01 mph, you think we'd try to come up with a diversion to get us the heck out of this rinky-dink closet, but no. Fangirls never think rationally--we're too busy drooling over hot guys to even try.

Naruto suddenly whips open the closet door and is stunned at the sight before him. You would be too if you just found twenty-five girls squished together in your closet.

"Uh…" he begins, suspicious. His face reads _what are all these psycho women doing in my freakin' closet?!_

In an attempt to get the heck outta there, we hastily invent our own jutsu and vanish into thin air, leaving behind a dumbfounded and/or confused Naruto.

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	2. A Day in the Life of Sasuke!

Chaptah 2:

A Day in the life of Sasuke!

*****

We are now standing outside Sasuke's bedroom window trying to be quiet, to no avail. Fangirls #335 and #002 are giggling like two drunken banshees. SHUT THE HECK UP, #335 AND #002!

We cock our ears towards the window and hear the faint squeaking of slightly rusted bedsprings. It's pretty obvious that Sasuke is either getting up, or rolling over in bed. Regardless, I MUST RECORD IT!

Um…Fangirl #609, give me a leg up, please. Thank you.

After I get myself completely balanced, I zoom in on the angelic figure before me. _Oh, be still my heart!_

Sasuke, our beloved Greek god carved from the most beautiful marble…WE LOVE YOU!

I record with accuracy and professionalism as Sasuke flips his shiny raven-colored hair, while standing in a sexy man-pose.

Fangirls, you will die from sheer and utter bliss when you see this! Let's view it in slow motion…

Sasuke seems to be heading towards the bathroom…I MUST FOLLOW!

Fangirl #609, hoist me up, please. Thank you--_oomph_!

After #609 throws me through the window and I dust myself off a bit, I stealthily creep down the hall towards the bathroom. The coast is clear, so I go a little further…

There's water running--I think Sasuke is taking a shower! I MUST HAVE THIS DATA! Maybe I can sneak in without being noticed. I turn the knob and--I'm in!

If I can squeeze into this little corner here, in between this wall, I'll be safe from wandering eyes…there! Now to catch this footage.

Dear Fangirls, are you hearing what I'm hearing? Sasuke is singing in the shower! HE'S SINGING IN THE FREAKIN' SHOWER!

He has such a beautiful voice!

_Ya callin' me daddy…daddy… Ya callin' me daddy…daddy…girl, I'll be ya daddy…_

Good God! Who knew Sasuke listened to stuff like _this?! _

I must…not…faint!

…Crap. It seems that the steam is fogging up the lens. I shall carefully wipe it.

Is it clearer now? Okay, good. Now, back to Sas--HOLY MOTHER OF WALNUTS! SASUKE LEFT THE SHOWER CURTAIN OPEN!

Oh, my God! Am I getting all this?!

He has such a _lovely_ pale man-boy body! I MUST ZOOM IN EVEN FURTHER!

Look at those long, muscular arms…

That manly chest…

Those rock-hard abs…

And that sexy tush! So plump and…squeezable…

Oh, and his legs are great, too. Now, let's go back up--

OH, SWEET JESUS, HE TURNED AROUND!

A stream of blood gushes from my nose as I try to squeeze from in-between the wall. Sasuke turns when he hears all the racket I am making.

Oh no--he's coming towards me!

I RUN FOR MY LIFE!

I round the corner and zoom in to…SASUKE'S BEDROOM!  
YES! FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST!

I am instantly surrounded by expectant fangirls upon leaping from the window. _SHOW US! _They demand.

But not yet, I can't! Sasuke's on to us!

The Fangirls gasp. What do I think we should do?!

I say we make like a tree and get the heck outta here!

We make ourselves scarce just as Sasuke reaches the window.

We are victorious! NOW ON TO THE NEXT PERSON!

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	3. A Day in the Life of Shikamaru!

Chaptah 3:

A Day in the life of Shikamaru!

*****

Okay everyone, here we are at Konoha Lake, where our sexy Shikamaru is taking an afternoon swim. Isn't he gorgeous? The Fangirls sigh blissfully as Shikamaru flies through the water, wonderful and strong. He looks amazing. The muscles in his arms flex gracefully every time he cuts through the water, and the Fangirls stare glassy-eyed and drooling a little. Fangirl #002 comments on how sexy he looks and the other Fangirls nod in agreement.

Lustful little devils.

Suddenly Shikamaru dives underneath the water. We all hold our breath as we wait for him to emerge. Then there he is, cutting through the surface like some kind of water god. Notice how tasty his skin looks when wet, the way the water droplets glisten in the sun, making us Fangirls lust for that delicious body even more. It takes every bit of willpower we have to keep us from jumping into that lake and onto Shikamaru, especially when every fiber of our being is screaming, _LET ME AT 'EM!_

Then Shikamaru dramatically flips his longish wet hair in a futile attempt to get it out of his eyes and Fangirls #002 and #981 can't hold themselves back any longer. They run screaming towards the water, stripping themselves of their clothing as they do so.

Shikamaru turns at the sound of the Fangirls' screaming. He barely has time to blink before they're all over him. _Poor widdle Shikamawu!_

Shikamaru tries desperately to escape, but it's no use. Rabid Fangirls are impossible to shake off. As a last resort, Shikamaru uses his Shadow Possession Jutsu and backs out of the water. The Fangirls also back up, going farther and farther into the lake. Shikamaru escapes successfully and fully intact! Awesomeness!

The betraying Fangirls begin to cry.

Meanwhile, the rest of us Fangirls hide behind a giant boulder as Shikamaru searches for his clothing. Which, obviously, are missing.

_Because WE'VE got them! _We chuckle maniacally.

Shikamaru continues his search, shivering a little as a small breeze chills his wet skin. By now, the Fangirls have gotten out of the water and redressed themselves. They begin to make their way back towards us, but my hideous Troll Glare stops them dead in their tracks. _Don't you dare come another step closer. _

The other Fangirls peer at me curiously. Like, _why can't they come back?_

_They have gone against the Rules of Fangirl Unity. They can no longer be trusted. _The disclosing Fangirls run off, devastated.

I turn my attention back towards Shikamaru, but he's no longer there. _Where, oh where, has that hunkalicious man-boy gone?!_

I try to stand up, but my legs are frozen in place…what--

_Aw, shift. _

Shikamaru has somehow discovered our hiding place, and now I can't move!

There's only one thing to do.

FANGIRLS! TACKLE HIM!

The Fangirls are only too happy to oblige. They wrestle Shikamaru to the ground and smother him with rainbow-colored kisses. By the time they're finished, there isn't a spot on him that isn't covered in red, pink or orange.

Except, of course, his…lower parts. BUT THAT AREA IS OFF-LIMITS!

FANGIRLS! RETREAT!

The Fangirls quickly leap away from Shikamaru. Let's get the heck outta here! And fast!

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	4. A Day in the Life of Itachi!

Chaptah 4:

A Day in the life of Itachi!

*****

Alright, Fangirls. We've made it this far. We can't turn back now.

Here we are, standing behind this tree that shouldn't be able to hide all of us, but is anyway. We watch blissfully as Itachi paints his nails a beautiful purple.

Normally, this would be considered gay. But it's sexy on Itachi. The Fangirls swoon.

Itachi suddenly turns and glares in our general direction. _Crap. We've been found out. _

Or not. In one swift motion, he grabs a shuriken and flings it at the tree, pinning a bumblebee by its wings.

Fangirl #012 faints.

The rest of us watch intently as Itachi finishes his nails.

After twenty-nine minutes of nail-painting, Itachi stands up. Alright! Now for some action! I zoom in further.

Itachi stands with his head to the sky. He looks deliciously sexy today since he's not wearing his usual attire. Clad in a tight black shirt and manly black skinny-jeans, it takes everything within us to keep from glomping him.

Suddenly he starts walking towards us. And he seems to be looking right at me.

_Come on, 'Tachi… give mama some sugar!_

Oh, wait…that's a _bad_ thing. FANGIRLS, RUN FOR YOUR FREAKIN' LIVES!

But then he walks right past us, without a glance in our direction. _Phew,_ that was close!

WE MUST FOLLOW HIM!

The Fangirls form a single file line as we stalk--er, _follow_--Itachi. Zoom in to Itachi walking quietly through the forest.

Zoom in even further to see him walking up to someone's house.

Zoom in even _further_ to see him--hey wait, that's SASUKE'S HOUSE!

The Fangirls are suspicious as we watch Itachi climb through the window. We sneak even closer.

At first there's nothing but silence. But then we hear a clatter, a glass breaking, and a muffled scream.

_WHAT IS ITACHI DOING TO OUR BELOVED SASUKE?!_

We can only hope it isn't anything drastic, as we would hate to have to kill our beloved Itachi for hurting our beloved Sasuke. _  
_

The Fangirls leap through the window, one by one, and follow the trail of broken glass and small droplets of blood down the hall to Sasuke's bedroom. We stand with our ears to the door and listen.

There's nothing but mumbling at first, but then Sasuke screams.

Scared for our beloved Sasuke's life, we burst in without thinking, and are instantly shocked at the sight before us.

There is Sasuke, shirtless and tied to his bed with chains, and Itachi is leering over him with a container of Vaseline.

_Oh, dear. Pardon the intrusion…_

Blood spurts out of the Fangirls' noses and WE RUN FOR OUR LIVES!

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	5. A Day in the Life of Gaara!

Chaptah 5:

A Day in the life of Gaara!

*****

Alright. Now that we've cleaned ourselves off, it's time to pay a visit to our favorite little sand ninja, Gaara!

Here we are, hiking through the desert. How we got all the way out here within a matter of minutes, I will never know. We're tired, thirsty, hot, and ready to give up.

BUT WE SHANT GIVE UP! WE ARE FANGIRLS! THE FATE OF FANGIRL UNITY LIES IN OUR HANDS! WITHIN OUR BOSOM! WE MUST! CONTINUE! ON!

The Fangirls look skeptic. _But at any cost? _

I think about that for a minute. YES, AT ANY COST!

_But what if we die out here? _

FANGIRLS CANNOT DIE! WE HAVE TOO MUCH ENTHUSIASM AND MOTIVATION!

_But--_

Okay, enough with the freakin' questions. Let's roll!

The Fangirls reluctantly continue on.

After ten minutes of hiking, we spot a lone tree a little ways off. Zoom in to the tree.

Hey, Fangirls! Can you see what I see?!

The Fangirls gasp. _It's Gaara! _They sigh in bliss.

Fangirl #012 jumps up in down in excitement. _Now that we've found him, maybe he can help us get something to eat! _

Fangirl #609 punches her in the face again.

Fangirl #012 holds her bleeding nose. _But why can't we just ask him? He might really help us! _

DOESN'T THAT GIRL GET ENOUGH?!

The Fangirls shake their heads at #012's stupidity. _IT GOES AGAINST THE RULES OF FANGIRL UNITY! _

**RULES OF FANGIRL UNITY:**

**1) FANGIRLS MUST NEVER SPEAK TO THEIR IDOL.**

**2) IF A FANGIRL SPEAKS TO HER IDOL, THE OTHER FANGIRLS MUST PUNCH HER IN THE FACE. **

**3) IF A FANGIRL SPEAKS ABOUT SPEAKING TO HER IDOL, THE OTHER FANGIRLS MUST PUNCH HER IN THE FACE. **

**4) IF A FANGIRL THINKS ABOUT SPEAKING TO HER IDOL, THE OTHER FANGIRLS MUST PUNCH HER IN THE FACE.**

**5) IF A FANGIRL SPEAKS ABOUT THINKING ABOUT SPEAKING TO HER IDOL, THE OTHER FANGIRLS MUST PUNCH HER IN THE FACE.**

**6) IF A FANGIRL TOUCHES HER IDOL, THE OTHER FANGIRLS MUST PUNCH HER IN THE FACE. **

**7) IF A FANGIRL SPEAKS ABOUT TOUCHING HER IDOL, THE OTHER FANGIRLS MUST PUNCH HER IN THE FACE.**

**8) IF A FANGIRL THINKS ABOUT TOUCHING HER IDOL, THE OTHER FANGIRLS MUST PUNCH HER IN THE FACE.**

**9) IF A FANGIRL SPEAKS ABOUT THINKING ABOUT TOUCHING HER IDOL, THE OTHER FANGIRLS MUST PUNCH HER IN THE FACE. **

**10) IF A FANGIRL GOES AGAINST ANY OF THE RULES OF FANGIRL UNITY, THE OTHER FANGIRLS MUST PUNCH HER IN THE FACE.**

Fangirl #012 hangs her head in shame.

Okay, now that we've gotten that settled, we must focus on Gaara. Fangirls, give him your undivided attention!

The Fangirls' stares are so intense, they could've penetrated Gaara's skull.

Zoom in to see Gaara take off his shirt. Fangirls #335 and #012 faint.

_Drama queens. _

Now Gaara jumps out of the tree and stands with his head towards the sky, sporting the sexiest man-pose EVER!

I wipe away the drool from the corner of my mouth and continue recording.

…Is it just me, or is Gaara looking directly at us?

The Fangirls gasp as Gaara suddenly bursts into a sprint, headed straight for us.

_DARN IT! RUN, FANGIRLS! RUN! _

I turn around, but what I see before me almost makes me pee my pants.

_Crud. _

In an attempt to escape with my life, I punch Gaara in the face and RUN!

Gaara is extremely pissed. He suddenly unleashes his awesome sand powers on Fangirl #012.

Fangirl #012 is crushed to bits, right before our very eyes.

_Fangirls, take a minute to mourn for our lost one._

The Fangirls do so, some even shedding a few tears.

…

Then, with a speed that rivaled Rock Lee, we RAN FOR OUR LIVES!

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	6. A Day in the Life of Rock Lee!

Chaptah 6:

A Day in the life of Rock Lee!

*****

We have finally escaped the Wrath of Gaara, and are now on our way to film one of our most favorite guys ever--Rock Lee!

The Fangirls cheer.

Although our beloved Fangirl #012 is no longer with us, we shall continue filming, because it is our duty. FOR FANGIRLS EVERYWHERE!

_FOR FANGIRLS EVERYWHERE! _The Fangirls cheer again.

Now we are trudging through the forest. We're on our way to the training grounds, where our beloved Lee is…well, training.

Just a little further…through this bit of brushwood…

And now we are here.

Tears come to the Fangirls' eyes as we behold the sight before us. There is Lee, sprawled under a big oak tree, shirtless and asleep.

_He looks so beautiful. _Notice the way the sun's rays are shining down only on him and nothing else, the way it bounces lightly off his shiny black hair. His skin is so flawless, his body so beautifully sculpted, he looks like an angel.

'

Can you see the halo?

He looks so peaceful…so vulnerable, lying there like that. It makes me want to touch him--to see if he'd suddenly disappear beneath my fingertips.

The Fangirls' eyes widen as they watch me walk towards Lee. _What are you doing?_

As if it isn't obvious.

I stop walking once I get two feet away from my beautiful sleeping angel. I squat down and reach towards him.

The Fangirls gasp at my bodacious-ness. _DON'T TOUCH HIM! IT GOES AGAINST THE RULES OF FANGIRL UNITY!_

I stick my tongue out at them.

It seems like everything is going in slow motion as my fingers inch closer and closer towards Lee's bare chest. I'm seriously itching to TOUCH HIM!

But right before my fingers make contact with his skin, his eyes snap open and his hand is suddenly gripping mine in a death vise.

It's taking every bit of willpower in me to keep from unleashing a stream of profanities from the sheer pain of it all.

Lee eventually processes the fact that I am merely a lowly Fangirl and that I am of no harm to his sexy, angelic self, and lets go of my hand. He smiles and mumbles "hello" before he lies back down and resumes his nap.

My fingers are in bad condition.

When I make it back to where the other Fangirls are standing, Fangirl #609 suddenly hauls off and punches me in the face.

_WHAT THE FU-- WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!!_

_You went against Rule #6 of the Rules of Fangirl Unity! _

I remove my hand from my bloody nose and punch her in the face with every bit of strength I can muster. I INVENTED THE RULES OF FANGIRL UNITY!!!

Fangirl #609 uses her sleeve to wipe at her bloody nose and hangs her head in shame.

Just for good measure, I smack her on the back of her head and command the other Fangirls to do the same.

Fangirl #609 now understands the severity of her crime and repents.

Well. Now that that's over…ON TO THE NEXT ONE!

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	7. A Day in the Life of Kakashi!

Chaptah 7:

A Day in the life of Kakashi!

*****

Can you believe it?

We're in Kakashi's house!

WE ARE STANDING IN THE VERY BEDROOM OF KAKASHI HATAKE!

Unbeknownst to him, of course.

The Fangirls are overcome with happiness. This is a stroke of fate! A BLESSING SENT FROM HEAVEN AND BESTOWED UPON US! Fangirls, we must relish in this miraculous act--bask in its heaven-sent glory!

Zoom in to Kakashi's bed. Is that a pair of SILK BOXERS I SEE?!

Fangirl #335 suddenly loses her integrity. She runs over to the bed and snatches up Kakashi's (most likely worn) bloomers.

And puts them in her pocket.

The rest of us pretend like we didn't see what we what we just saw. LET US CONTINUE ON!

The Fangirls trudge down the hall, making careful observations of our surroundings. _Kakashi has a purdy nice place! _

We hear water running in the bathroom. Kakashi must be taking a shower. Yes! This gives us enough time to scope out the place.

We are about to round the corner when there is a crash in the kitchen, followed by a muffled profanity.

_Someone's there. _

The Fangirls hold their breath as I slowly and quietly adjust the camera to see around the corner.

_It's Kakashi! _

The Fangirls are confused. _How could he be in the kitchen and the bathroom at THE SAME TIME?! _

The answer comes to us as the bathroom door suddenly opens and we hear a female voice. "I'm done, Kakashi-sensei! What's for dinner?"

The Fangirls almost choke on their own spit as we gape at the figure rounding the corner, wearing nothing but a bathrobe.

_SAKURA?!_

The (obviously unnaturally) pink-haired girl looks just as shocked as we do. She frowns and opens her mouth.

_Holy crap, she's gonna squeal!_

In a desperate attempt to get away with out butts still intact, we punch Sakura in the face and run like there's no tomorrow!

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	8. A Day in the Life of Neji!

Chaptah 8:

A Day in the life of Neji!

*****

Okay, everyone! Here's what we've all been waiting for!

The LAST idol, Neji Hyuga!

We are standing exactly ten feet away from his bedroom window, it's nighttime, and he's getting ready for bed.

The Fangirls watch intently as Neji slowly strips himself of his clothing. Fangirl #335's body twitches suggestively.

She is _so _ready to leap through that window and onto him.

Neji is deliciously sexy, with his white eyes that hold hardly any emotion, pale skin, long arms and legs, and SUCH A MANLY CHEST.

I just wanna run my hands up and down EVERY INCH OF THAT HUNKALICIOUS BODY.

Neji suddenly turns toward the window, obviously sensing our presence. The Fangirls duck behind a boulder. _I HOPE HE DIDN'T SEE US! _

After a few seconds, Fangirl #335 peeks over the boulder and sighs in relief. _The coast is clear. _

I resume my position and continue filming.

Neji is now sitting on his bed, brushing his long, shiny, beautiful, dark hair. I _so _want to run my fingers through that hair. I wonder what shampoo he uses. Strawberry kiwi? Peach mango? Banana Berry? Lavender? I sit here in silent contemplation for the next few minutes.

My eyes almost pop out of my head at what I see next.

Neji, wearing nothing but dark green man-panties, is now gyrating around his room, dancing to _Sexyback_.

Fangirls #999, #007 and #453 faint in bliss.

Fangirl #335 gets a nosebleed and she starts twitching again.

I know how she feels. BUT FANGIRLS MUST OBTAIN THEIR DUTY AND FOLLOW THE RULES OF FANGIRL UNITY!

Neji suddenly whips his head around and stares through the window, RIGHT AT ME.

The jig is up. Now what are we gonna do.

Fangirl #007 suggests we kill him, now that he knows about us.

Fangirl #609 punches her in the face.

Fangirl #335 prepares to run, but what happens next stops her in her tracks.

Neji comes to the window, a little half-grin on his face.

_He is SO SEXY when he does that…!!_

"You looking for something?" He asks us, a hint of suspicion and superiority in his voice.

Since it is against the Rules of Fangirl Unity to speak to an idol, we nod helplessly.

"What are you looking for?"

We don't answer. We don't know how.

That little grin blooms into a full blown smile. He got us, and he freakin' knows it.

"Why don't you come in? It must be cold out there."

The Fangirls do not move.

"Plus, I need someone capable to help me get this tangle out of my hair."

At this, the Fangirls all leap through the window. The rascally little devils! I light a few smoke bombs and prepare to throw them through the window. _IT IS AGAINST THE RULES OF FANGIRL UNITY TO--_

But then I drop them. Forget the Rules of Fangirl Unity--he invited us in!

AND I'LL BE MUCH OBLIGED TO ACCEPT THAT INVITE!

*****

Thank you, everyone, for read--er--watching! We, The Fangirls, hope you enjoyed it to the very last second of the very last minute!

(Credits roll by while some cheesy music plays in the background…)

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End file.
